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Franz Joseph Glacier

This blog begins in much the same style as the last one ended, with Ryders on Tour in hot pursuit of the cephalopods of New Zealand. With this in mind, we headed south past Christchurch, the centre of which is sadly deserted and blocked off following the February earthquake. We were aiming for Akaroa on the Banks Peninsula, where the highlight was swimming with Hectors dolphins, the smallest and rarest ocean-going dolphin in the world. These dolphins usually swim in ones and twos, but luckily we managed to get dropped into the middle of a pod of 100 or so following a trawler, and had an amazing experience of them skipping around us and swimming under our feet.

Hectors dolphin

Recent travellers to New Zealand may have noticed that for citizens whose once proud pound sterling is now a laughing stock on the international currency exchange, this is not cheap country. Hotel accommodation is a hefty expense, so with a focus on value for money that would do the Audit Commission proud (an ethos now so ingrained it will be with us for ever), we decided that £80 is too much to pay for a night in a grim motel room. Instead we have been staying at a variety of establishments, including a number of backpacker hostels. This does not mean, however, mattresses on the floor and paper thin walls – the hostels are usually excellent, full of friendly people, spotless facilities and at great locations. We think we might have found the best hostel in the world after we left Akaroa – judge for yourself.  

After getting up at silly o’clock to watch endangered yellow-eyed penguins waddle off in to the sea for a hard day of catching fish, enjoying lunch at one of NZ’s best restaurants and playing on the giant boulders of Moeraki, we headed for Dunedin. Perched at the edge of the Otago peninsula, there are some great coastal walks, even when it rains for two days solid. Walking to Tunnel Beach in treacherous conditions gave us the chance to break out our all-weather gear again and put our trail shoes through their paces. Numerous falls later (one preceded by the confident statement of ‘I am like a mountain goat’) and J’s jeans were going in the bin, no washing machine being powerful enough to remove the stains of shame.

Thinking we might have missed one, more yellow-eyed penguins were jostled on the next leg, a drive through the beautiful Catlins in the far south of the country. C managed to briefly resurrect a previous career and go all school mistress on a group of lads who were disturbing the penguins and using flash photography (a big no-no). If anyone is going to bother penguins, it’s going to be us.

Next up was fjordland, specifically Doubtful Sound (technically a fjord rather than a sound; the difference was explained to us, but we were busy throwing rocks at the penguins at the time). About as remote as you can get in New Zealand, it can only be accessed by a combination of boat, coach and boat again, but it is worth it. Fearing a Saga experience, we took an overnight cruise, which thankfully didn’t feature spam sandwiches and milky cocoa at 8pm. Just to prove our youth and virility, we went for a kayak round the sound and even jumped in the Tasman Sea – a toasty 12 degrees - for a very quick swim. The cruise gave us amazing views of the fjords, the native seal population and the transformation the area undergoes after rain, when literally thousands of waterfalls appear from nowhere.

Kayaking in Doubtful Sound

Bungy jumps, canyon swings, rafting, river surfing, skydives and jet boat rides are just some of the things you can do in Queenstown, the adventure capital of the world, constantly re-inventing new thrills and heart-racing activities. Accordingly, on our first day there, we went for a leisurely drive and played crazy golf. The second day (also J’s birthday) we tried to redeem ourselves and went for a tandem ‘flight’ on the world’s highest swing. Strapped in to a harness we were released to a 70 metre drop followed by a 200 meter swing. As a birthday treat J had a second go; flying solo this time, he lost all sense of reason and decided to go upside down and backwards. Whoever thought that was a good idea? We found a good way to calm down after that was to play another game of crazy golf in case the excitement got too much.

Canyon swing in Queenstown

From Queenstown it was a short drive to Wanaka; home of some great hiking and, for the more cerebral tourist experience, ‘Puzzling World’. Feeling confident after cracking the two storey maze without the need for couples counselling we decided to head back to the hostel to conquer a 1000 piece jigsaw, a marriage wrecker if ever there was one.

We are now on the west coast en route to Wellington for a ferry back to the north island and eventually our flight to Sydney in five days.

Highlight: swimming with the dolphins in Akaroa – imagine fun-sized dolphins with killer whale markings, but playful and friendly.  

Lowlight: discovering we have been well and truly fleeced by an Argentine car company. While it is always a pleasure to keep in touch with the many friends we have made along the way, this desire to foster international goodwill does not extend to sitting quietly by while Mickey Mouse outfits siphon hundreds of pounds from our limited funds for months on end.

Ryder v Ryder board game challenge update: C now leads 5–1 at Scrabble, but J has a 2–1 advantage at Trivial Pursuits. For the sporting archivists out there, J’s steely nerve around the greens held true and he closed out a 2-0 victory in the crazy golf.