Over the dogs down below, they'll bark at our shadows

Abel Tasman National Park

After a gruelling 14 hour flight from Santiago we arrived in Auckland bemused and befuddled (and covered in crumbs), having lost a whole day of our lives due to 15 hour time difference. This disorientation was offset by the joy of being understood, for the most part, by the locals for the first time in three and a half months. 

Bunking down in one of Auckland’s best hotels – because we’re worth it - we took a chance on a self-developed theory that a good cure for jetlag is loafing around in a Jacuzzi and sunbathing in fluffy white robes. The theory has some merit. We also used the time to up our quotient of museums to internationally recognised safe levels and indulge in some much craved-for spicy food, a riotous digestive fiesta after the cheese and meat stodge-a-thon of South America.

Next stop Rotorua. For once the smell of eggs following Ryders on Tour had a clearly identifiable source, namely the multitude of volcanic hot springs and geysers in the vicinity. After nailing some fantastic mountain biking in the local redwood forests, which included one of the Ryders biting off rather more than he could chew and having to carry his bike down a particularly hideous stretch, we turned our minds to rafting. With the grade IV we conquered in Argentina still fresh in our minds, we decided to go one louder with a grade V run. The course along the Kaituna River includes a 7m drop, the highest commercially rafted waterfall in the world. The raft in front capsized and bodies were littering our exit from the falls so we weren’t hopeful but, as the pictures show, we somehow emerged with a full head count and dignity intact. In Kiwi parlance, the trip was ‘awesome’ and our performance can only be described as ‘sweet as.’ Our last night in the area was spent with friends in Tauranga; a lovely way to round off our stay here.

Tackling the falls

At this point the weather turned grim, so while the UK was enjoying a BBQ spring (© Met Office) most of New Zealand’s north island had flood warnings and power cuts. We decided to spend a couple of days in Wellington – a fine city - and then cut our losses and head straight for south island.

First stop was Nelson and a boat ride into the beautiful Abel Tasman national park for a hike along stunning beaches and sub-tropical forests. Not content with viewing the area on foot and from the water, we decided to see it from above…16,500ft above to be precise. After receiving oxygen at 15,000ft, we were bundled out of a plane strapped to two jolly Kiwis (one each, we aren’t greedy) who thankfully had the good sense to bring a parachute. The view was nothing short of spectacular and we could see over to North Island and half way down the South Island. C is now considering a career as a professional skydiver and threatens another jump every time we see a plane. Watch this space.

Flying high above Abel Tasman

Next up was the Marlborough wine region to sample the world famous Sauvignon Blanc. The vineyards are so concentrated that within a minute of staggering (or wobbling on a bike as we did) from one award winning winery you are guaranteed to come across another that takes your fancy. We began with a visit to Cloudy Bay, the wine beloved of the '30-something girls night out brigade’ (of which C is a proud card carrying member). Ignoring the spittoon, water and crackers, we ploughed straight in with a tasting of 12 different wines. After which we took the precaution of having a big lunch, accompanied by a glass of the recommended vintage, before visiting another two vineyards. We rounded the day off with a quick tasting at a boutique brewery (wine then beer feel queer?) and a game of scrabble, a test for any relationship without a dictionary on hand… 

We are now in Kaikoura and have spent the day on the water harassing the local marine life. Fortunately the whales showed up this time and we got up close and personal with a 15m male sperm whale (the largest toothed predator on the planet). We were also treated to a display of aquatic acrobatics by a pod of about 300 dusky and common (so called because they can be found all over the world not because they spit in public and belch during meals) dolphins. Other marine highlights include some cracking close-ups of the New Zealand fur seal and abundant birdlife, including the magnificent wandering albatross and various members of the shag family. Magic.

Sperm whale tail

Highlight: undoubtedly the sky-dive over Abel Tasman. C is still wearing the t-shirt with pride.

Lowlight: the smell in our motel room in Rotorua, which inexplicably seemed to get worse when we shut the windows. It could curdle milk at 50 paces.